Pulmonary and Sleepiness

I'm sitting on the couch, gazing at the glowing 4 foot Christmas tree we put up and decorated too early because I just couldn't wait until after Thanksgiving. My kitty Noodle is sitting here next to me, curled up and taking a cat nap... something I wish I could be doing right now. I'm in that annoying limbo though, where I just feel so darn exhausted I want so badly to sleep, but I'm in too much pain to fall asleep.

Logan is trying to cuddle my pain away. He wishes it could work. I do too. I've been sort of melancholy this past week, just a little down and not sure why. Probably all the stresses lately - trying to work my hardest at work and school, being in a lot of pain, paying the bills, etc. etc. I've also just been so darn tired... of course I always have been, but it's like my fatigue has tripled this past month. My mom thinks it's the weather. I'm not sure.

All I know is I'm losing money and lowering my GPA cause of it... every Monday through Friday I have to be somewhere by 9am - school 3 days a week and work 2 days a week. Well I've been missing most of my morning classes and a lot of my morning hours at work too lately. I'll set 5 alarms and I even set a bright lamp on a timer to turn on in my face at 7am. But I either sleep through it all or hardly wake up and be too exhausted and in pain to move. I haven't been getting anywhere til 11am most days... or even later sometimes. It's embarassing to admit that I'm completely missing my morning psych class, even though I so badly want to be there, and showing up late to work so much. But I'm trying so, so hard to beat this... Luckily winter quarter my first class won't be til 10:30am so it should be easier. And I talked to my boss about adjusting my hours and she is so kind and understanding and just said "we will see you when you feel up to getting here." But either way, I'm losing like $300+ a month just from missing those mornings.

Bleh. I didn't just come here to vent, vent, vent. *Stop it, Jessica* More actual updates... Had an appointment with my pulmonologist the other day. She had me do PFTs (scored a little worse this time...) and get a chest catscan and some blood draws (we are checking my immune system). She then nagged me about taking all my medicines and doing my breathing treatments and my chest physiotherapy....twice, every. single. day. (A routine that takes over an hour... I'm supposed to add this to my already-running-late mornings and my already-too-exhausted nights??) I don't know if I told y'all before, but she recently diagnosed me with Chronic Bronchitis - a type of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. This has added a lot of treatments into my daily routine that I just can't find time for! And some parts are unpleasant and painful to do too.

Hrmph. Well I just was able to complete that last sentence, then my brain said "I'm too tired, I give up." It's crazy how quick brain fog can come up... well I'm sorry to cut you off like this. I know I had much more to say but I don't remember now...

Goodnight <3
Just keep swimming